Ask Ari





May 1, 2019

When we think back to our best and worst relationships, what patterns are most memorable?

When we think back to our best and worst relationships, what patterns are most memorable? Is it the way that significant other made you feel the first time they held your hand, or could it be the feeling you experienced right after a major fight? Relationships can be difficult at times, and at other times they can be our strongest form of support. How do we know if we are in a healthy relationship, or is it possible that we miss the unhealthy patterns we have warned our friends about for years? Sometimes we need to take a look at our own behaviors and expectations to truly understand the relationship we crave the most.

It is common human behavior to look at others in a similar situation and compare. “He seems so much happier than me” or “how come I can’t find a partner like her?” But, can we look at our own relationship and say, “I’m being the best partner I know how to be.” Do you compliment your partner? Do you spend time finding the small things they do and appreciate the effort? It can be very easy to find flaws in daily behaviors, especially when we spend all our time with a specific person. So, let’s make an effort to find one positive trait in ourselves and in our partner.

In this month of July, when we are celebrating our freedom, let’s appreciate our ability to make our own choices. Make the conscious decision to appreciate those around you. Celebrate with those around you. And finally, utilize the supports around you. Even during our lowest moments when we feel like there is no one to turn to, always remember help is simply one call away.


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